Recently, two subjects merged in my head, my Facebook friends’ sentimental postings recalling our collective youth and the third book in the Hunger Games series. Believe it or not, there is logic behind this mental mashup.
At the end of MOCKINGJAY, Katniss and Peeta play a sort of game—“real or not real.” In the game, she clarifies his memories, which have been altered by an evil government. I need someone to play that game with me each time I read a Facebook posting regarding our shared youth.
Since I’m out of the mental illness closet, I’ll admit that living with horror story levels of depression separates you from the reality of your own life. And, I will also confess to filing the memories of my hometown and high school years under the term nightmare, years ago.
But, like Peeta, I would love answers to my gnawing questions about my past. Now that I have medication that works, I can almost see the possibility of 1970’s Ellwood City being a decent place to be a kid, and that the walking train wreck was me, not high school. But, I’ve accepted that I’ll never get answers to my real memory or distorted memory questions because I would be too embarrassed to even ask the questions.